Good for this person. This is exactly what you do. Screw the job.
I had a job that made me work an all nighter, 30 hours straight, over Thanksgiving. I resigned that Monday and it was one of the most satisfying decisions I’ve ever made.
Please pay attention to all the manipulation tactics this boss uses, because they’re pulling out every trick in the book.
“I’m not your boss, I’m your friend”
“Other people will be hurt by this and it’s your fault and I’m going to tell them all that”
Mocking language
Jobs are important too
“Be a team player”
“We’re your family too”
Talking as if this is a thing you must do
“We all make sacrifices”
Undermining your authority
“You caused all of this, really”
Accusing you of being “unprofessional”
“Look at the money you cost us”
“Just laugh it off and come back to work”
This is like a 101 course in how employers use guilt trips to coerce you into putting up with their bullshit. This is precisely why you should never trust those employers who insist that they’re “like a family.” They are not. It’s just a ruse so that your boss can neg you into putting your job ahead of your actual life.
someone should coin white queer liberation as a similar term to white feminism
like I need white queers to understand that their lack of interest in supporting queers of color isn’t a harmless thing that happens on an individual scale. It’s a pattern and phenomenon that leaves a huge number of queer people feeling isolated from their own community.
If your queer activism doesn’t include queer people of color, you’re the problem.
If you tell qpoc to stop complaining about the lack of queer characters of color because white queer rep should be enough for us, you’re the problem.
If you don’t know anything about qpoc outside of That One Activist and only value qpoc because “we gave you your rights,” you’re the problem.
If you don’t care about queer people in countries where queerness is still illegal, you’re the problem.
If your queer friend group only includes white people, you’re the problem.
If your idea of what queerness looks like only accommodates whiteness and white beauty standards, you’re the problem.
If you don’t understand how your race has contributed to centuries of harm for qpoc, or how queers like you openly and systematically exclude us from our own community in the past and present, you’re the problem.
If you throw a fit when qpoc tell you you’re not the most oppressed person in the room, you’re the problem.
If you hide behind your queerness to excuse your racism, you’re the problem.
If you can’t accept other cultures’ gender structures without trying to fit it into the Eurocentric binary, you’re the problem.
Learning about qpoc and our experiences isn’t a fun extracurricular you can do if you feel like it. It’s a core class if you truly care about queer unity and liberation.
(qpoc can add on. white people can rb without comment. do not tag as q slur.)
so I have a few popular posts on this topic that have circulated quite a bit in far left spaces. Here are some tags to support my statement that this is widespread and a problem everywhere, not just in less progressive areas
ID: 12 different sets of tags. Set 1 reads “seeing yt queers be so vocal on what queerness is like is what’s the most alienating for me and other black queer youth.” Set 2 reads “OMG this exactly… I can’t even express the frustration” in all caps. Set 3 reads “all of this. white queers are so exhausting. we’re nothing but tokens to you lot. y’all talk about diversity and deface the rainbow to remind yourselves that we exist, and yet there is no difference in your incuriosity about our lives and willingness to grant us space and voice. race to y’all is something tacked on top of our queerness rather than the thing that shapes and defines it.” Set 4 reads “no they don’t know anything abt us. they created segregation and violently maintained it even in the gay community.” Set 5 reads “it’s so hard being black and queer. white queer people are so fucking antiblack that it’s actually mind-boggling.” Set 6 reads “i feel so uncomfortable in physical queer spaces a lot of the time because the only people who show up are white.” Set 7 reads “people rarely think of blk queers if they can help it.” Set 8 reads “my Blackness is a huge part of both my gender and sexuality. YES. and SO sick of the gentrification of our language. they know absolutely nothing.” Set 9 reads “the answer is no*. most of them don’t care. i tried to explain it to a white [person] before and they abruptly stopped me and tried to tell me i was wrong? hmmm.” Set 10 reads “in my real day to day life i don’t hang out with white queers for so many fuckin reasons.” Set 11 reads “This This This. in all caps. The lgbtq community is sooo antiblack it’s unreal. it’s part of the reason why i do identify as queer (even though that’s a struggle too). i’m just. so glad more and more posts about the racism within the community and within certain groups of the community is being expressed on here because a lot of them really need a reality check on their racism even though they think being gay means they can’t be racist.” Set 12 reads “they memorize one or two names n wash their hands. this nailed what i find so frustrating being in lgbt groups now. yes you can parrot a slogan what else.” end ID.
*context for this is that the post asked the question “Do they know x” multiple times. number 3 in the links list
and here’s what white queers are saying
ID: 11 sets of tags from different people. Set 1 reads “I actually didn’t know this before!! important.” Set 2 reads “ohh okay i actually did not know this. makes more sense though i guess.” Set 3 reads “huh i didn’t know this.” Set 4 reads “actually didn’t know abt this.” Set 5 reads “oh i never knew this. always thought it was just a right wing term. but no. it’s another thing they stole. great information to know.” Set 6 reads “didn’t know this.” Set 7 reads “interesting. I did not know this.” Set 8 reads “oh i didn’t know this! I genuinely thought this was something the far right made up.” Set 9 reads “oh neat. i didn’t know about the history of it.” Set 10 reads “i didn’t know about the majority of these issues.” Set 11 reads “recognized zero of the people listed in this post.” end ID.
people need to accept that some gay/lgbt people are terrible and some gay/lgbt people are boring and it doesnt make them Actually Straight or anything
big pet peeve of mine is gay internet users talking about ellen degeneres and pete buttigieg and acting like they’re “basically straight” as if both these people aren’t literally married to someone of the same sex sleeping in the same bed with them and having gay sex with their gay spouses and as if ellen degeneres coming out wasn’t such a huge moment in the lesbian community and pop culture as a whole that the biggest lesbian website for decades after that was called afterellen like unfortunately being gay doesn’t make you immune to being friends with war criminals.
another important thing to remember is 1) u can pick up any hobby at any point in ur life and get outstandingly good at it & 2) the project u’ve been working on & aren’t pleased w the current outcome so far will not be your last. u will draw/crochet/paint/sculpt/write another piece, and another, and you will have many chances to be fully content w your craft. so you should cherish the joy of making art instead of worrying ab the results & think ab how lovely it is that we’re all vessels for artistry and we can share the divine act of creation!!!!!
